After 11 days..in OFM

My Current Lineup after 11 weeks of play.. quite happy with the squad at the moment.

Major Signings.

Fletcher from Manchester United
Zapata from Udinese
Miera from VfB Stuttgart
Carlos Alberto from São Paulo
Hutton from Tottenham Hotspur
Kurtulus from Besiktas
Giovanni from Barcelona &
Lahm from FC Bayern München


sweet..

Super Thinking

Greg and his two friends are talking at
the bar one day. His friend John says,
"Guys, I think my wife is having an affair
with the electrician. I came home the
other day and found wire cutters under
our bed and they weren't mine."
His friend Sean said, "Well I think my
wife is having an affair with the
plumber. I came home the other day
and found a wrench under our bed and
it wasn't mine."
Greg said, "I think my wife is having an
affair with a horse." Both of his friends
just stared at him.

"I'm serious!" he said. "The other day I
came home and found a jockey under
our bed!"

If Only!!!

-If Yoko Ono married Sonny Bono, she'd be Yoko Ono Bono.


-If Dolly Parton married Salvador Dali, she'd be Dolly Dali.


-If Bo Derek married Don Ho, she'd be Bo Ho.


-If Ella Fitzgerald married Darth Vader, she'd be Ella Vader.


-If Oprah Winfrey married Depak Chopra, she'd be Oprah Chopra.


-If Cat Stevens married Snoop Doggy Dogg, he'd be Cat Doggy Dogg.


-If Olivia Newton-John married Wayne Newton, then divorced him to
marry Elton John, she'd be Olivia Newton-John Newton John.


-If Sondra Locke married Elliott Ness, then divorced him to marry
Herman Munster, she'd become Sondra Locke Ness Munster.

Computer Geeks

Two computer science students met on campus one day.
The first student called out to the other, "Hey, nice bike!
Where did you get it?"

"Well," replied the other, "I was walking to class the
other day when this pretty, young co-ed rode up on this bike.
She jumped off, took off all of her clothes, and said,
"You can have ANYTHING you want!"

"Good choice," said the first. "Her clothes wouldn't
have fit you anyway."

What A Small World!!!!!

Two guys are trying to get in a quick eighteen holes, but there
are two terrible lady golfers in front of them hitting the ball
everywhere but where it's supposed to go.

The first guy says, "Why don't you go over and ask if we can play
through?" The second guy gets about halfway there, turns and comes
back. The first guy says, "What's wrong?"

He says, "One of them is my wife, and the other is my mistress."

The first guy says, "That could be a problem. I'll go over."
He gets about halfway there and he turns and comes back, too.

The second guy says, "What's wrong?"

The first guy says, "Small world!"

Why The Heck Would I ???

A blonde and a brunette were talking, and the blonde was
very stressed. The brunette asked her what was the matter.
The blonde proceeded to tell her that she really needed to
sell her car, but no one would buy because it has 100,000
miles on it.

The brunette said to her, "I know a way that will help you
sell it. I have a friend who can help you, but it's illegal."

The blonde said, " I'll do anything." So the brunette gave the
blonde the phone number of a guy who could turn back the odometer
on her car. A week later the blonde and the brunette crossed
paths, and the brunette asked the blonde if she had sold her car
yet.

The blonde said, "Why would I sell a car with only 50,000 miles on it?!"

Today's Scoreboard

Gotta be pretty happy with today's result on OFM.. oh by the way, I am currently playing Sunderland and was against Arsenal today. :)

Just Remember

When you have a 'I Hate My Job' day, [even if retired you have those
sometimes] try this:

On your way home from work, stop at your pharmacy and go to the
thermometer section and purchase a rectal thermometer made by Johnson &
Johnson

Be very sure you get this brand. When you get home, lock your doors,
draw the curtains and disconnect the phone so you will not be
disturbed.

Change into very comfortable clothing and sit in your favorite chair.
Open the package and remove the thermometer. Now, carefully place it on
a table or a surface so that it will not become chipped or broken.

Now the fun part begins.

Take out the literature from the box and read it carefully. You will
notice that in small print there is a statement:

'Every Rectal Thermometer made by Johnson & Johnson is personally
tested and then sanitized.'

Now, close your eyes and repeat out loud five times, 'I am so glad I do
not work in the thermometer quality control department at Johnson &
Johnson.'

HAVE A NICE DAY AND REMEMBER, THERE IS ALWAYS SOMEONE ELSE WITH A JOB
THAT IS MORE OF A PAIN IN THE ASS THAN YOURS!

Current Result

My current results... thanks for all who suggested me tactics and strategies.. LOL

Gratz Gratz Gratz

Congratulations..

You made it.. :)

Weird???

This is the print screen from my OFM game.. LOL..

it's quite cool, so i had to post this.

Quick Thinking

There was a boy who worked in the produce section of a market. A man
came in and asked to buy half a head of lettuce. The boy told him that
they only sold whole heads of lettuce, but the man replied that he did
not need a whole head, only a half. The boy explained that he would have
to ask the manager and so he walked into the back room and said, "There
is some jerk out there who wants to buy only a half a head of lettuce."

As he finished saying this, he turned around to find the man standing
right behind him, so he quickly added, "and this gentleman wants to buy
the other half".

The manager okayed the request and the man went on his way. Later on
the manager said to the boy, "You almost got yourself in a lot of
trouble earlier, but I must say I was impressed with the way you got out
of it. You think on your feet and we like that around here. Where are
you from son?"

The boy replied, "Minnesota, sir".

"Oh, really? Why did you leave Minnesota" asked the manager.

The boy replied, "They're all just hookers and hockey players up
there."

"My wife is from Minnesota!"

The boy replied, "Really! What team did she play for?"

Vocal Puzzles

Vocal Puzzles

Solve the puzzles by saying them out loud, over and over, faster and
faster, repeating the phrase, until you "hear" the answer. Example: LAWN
SAND JEALOUS (place) Answer: Los Angeles Have fun trying..... Don't
cheat:

1. SHOCK CUSSED TOE (person)
2. SAND TACKLE LAWS (fictional character)
3. MY GULCH HOARD UN (person)
4. MOW BEAD HICK(book)
5. TALL MISCHIEF HER SUN (person)
6. CHICK HE TUB AN AN US (product)
7. THOUGH TIGHT AN HICK (thing)
8. AISLE OH VIEW (phrase)
9. TUB RAID HEAP HUNCH (TV show)
10. CARESS TROUGHER CLUMP US (person)
11. DOCKED HEARSE WHOSE (person)
12. THUMB ILL KEY WAKE OWL LICKS HE (place)
13. AGE ANT HUB BLOWS HEAVEN (fictional character)
14. THESE HOUND DOVE MOO SICK (movie)
15. BUCK SPUN HE (fictional character)

Answers given below





























ANSWERS TO VOCAL PUZZLES

1. Jacques Cousteau
2. Santa Claus
3. Michael Jordan
4. Moby Dick
5. Thomas Jefferson
6. Chiquita Banana
7. The Titanic
8. I love you
9. The Brady Bunch
10. Christopher Columbus
11. Doctor Seuss
12. The Milky Way Galaxy
13. Agent 007
14. The Sound of Music
15. Bugs Bunny

6 shots or else..

After Taste



A young man walks up and sits down at the bar. "What can I get you?"
the bartender inquires.

"I want 6 shots of Jagermeister," responded the young man.

"6 shots! Are you celebrating something?"

"Yeah, my first blowjob."

"Well, in that case, let me give you a 7th on the house."

"No offense, sir. But if 6 shots won't get rid of the taste, Nothing
will."

Another Dwight's Card

this one is another cool card I have of Dwighty... Serially Numbered. 12/25

Daily Data: Dwight Howard

Daily Data: Dwight Howard

My Two Kids

This is Lola..

And this is Lily.



Two little bunnies..





These are our little daughters. they have just turned 2 years old...

one of my favorite cards

Here's one of my favorite cards of all time..

Dwight's Exquisite EE 0f 2007.